Written by, Kalpita
14th Apr 2025
Indeed, Emotional Intelligence (EI) developed during early years is extremely important to protect your child's mental health and to build resilience. Children with high level of competence in terms of their feelings and ways of managing them can tackle challenges strongly and maintain good mental health in the long run.
Picture these ’Not-so soft skills’ in- action:
1. Knowing Your Emotions: The Basics of Resilience
The children who develop EI early learn to identify and name their emotions. This self-awareness is an excellent tool that supports the management of stress and aids in preventing negative outcomes for mental health.
Imagine Emma being 4 years old and having learned to precisely identify her emotions. If she does not understand how to solve a pre-math problem, she does not need to get frustrated and give up on it right away; Emma chooses to recognise her overwhelming feelings of anxiety. She voices out, "I feel confused by the problem; and that's all right, I can ask for help." Naming and normalising her emotions was a means for Emma to approach the situation calmly, whereas otherwise she may swing into feelings of inadequacy or anger. How did Emma achieve this?
2. Emotional Regulation: A Shield Against Stress
Children who possess high EI are much better at self-regulating their emotions - it acts as a cushion against stress and minimises the development of problems associated with mental health.
Consider Alex, 5 years old, who has developed emotional regulation skills. When his soccer team loses an important match, he is disappointed but does not let it overwhelm him. He takes a few deep breaths and reminds himself that such is the game. He reflects on what he will learn from his experience. This emotive self-regulation means that Alex does not slide into extended sadness, nor does he develop negative self-perceptions, which could become more serious mental health issues if allowed to take hold. When did Alex reach this stage?
3. Empathy and Social Skills: Building Strong Support Networks
EI also encompasses empathy and social skills that help children develop solid support networks - those magic ingredients that grease the wheels for good mental health.
Take, 6-year-old Tara who has developed robust empathy skills. Whenever she notices that Tanya is eating alone at school, her face showing signs of sadness, she approaches her and politely asks her whether she is okay. Such a small act of kindness does not only support Tanya but reinforces in Tara a sense of connectivity and purpose. In fostering positive relationships, Tara is building protective factors against poor future mental health. Where did Tara pick this up from?
4. Problem-Solving and Resilience:Meeting Life's Challenges
Skilled emotional functioning can aid children in solving problems and recovering from setbacks; this, in turn, further helps them build up resilience.
7-year-old Aarav gets into a fight with his best friend because of a misunderstanding. Instead of acting on impulse or avoiding the problem, Aarav uses his EI skills. He takes the time to cool off, considers his friend's viewpoint, and initiates a conversation to sort out what happened. This approach not only resolves the immediate problem but also strengthens Aarav’s belief in his ability to handle adversity, thereby growing his resilience. Is it easier said than done?
Speaking of open dialogue, positive self-talk and self-esteem are deep-rooted in EI, both forming a solid foundation of good mental health.
Imagine 8-year-old Anya; she has learned to do positive self-talk when she is not invited to a birthday party of one of her schoolmates. Instead of thinking, "Nobody likes me," she says to herself, "It's okay. I couldn't be invited to every party. I have other friends that like me." The tendency of the girl to reframe negative events thus protects her from possible negative self esteem or depressive ideation. Where did she learn to talk like that?
As parents or caregivers, one of the most invaluable gifts we could give our children is inculcating Emotional Intelligence in them right from their foundational years. This is a bunch of ‘underestimated’, ‘soft’ skills that prepare them with the ability to work hard through life's challenges, keep good mental health afloat, and stand resilient against adversities.
