Written by, Kalpita
8th Mar 2025
A perfect upbringing in a not-so-perfect world…That’s what my mum gave me. I can’t even begin to imagine how she did it all but I’m proud of how she aced it all. It’s been her and me all the way and even more so after we lost my dad to a sudden heart attack. I was about 12 years old then and didn’t quite comprehend the complexities of the situation we were in. Now when I look back, I can only salute my mum for all that she’s done, all by herself.
Yes, as any single mum she had to be a parent as well as earn a living for us but what makes her stand out is how much she made me learn through it all. I don’t know how she made it all look so easy but behind that calm and patient mum, I know there was a mum who was constantly feeling guilty, doubtful, inadequate and uncertain about each and every thing she was doing. She never really sat me down to give me any life lessons, but showed it all through her actions during those challenging life circumstances. Now that I am a mum myself, I can’t even imagine the emotional roller coaster that she was on. She had seen the worse of it all and yet given me the best from it all. But this blog is not gonna be focusing on her struggles and challenges. This is about what she taught me in spite of those constant struggles coming her way. The lessons that make up for a perfect upbringing in a not-so-perfect world.
She taught me how to think rather than what to think.
She taught me that with freedom comes great responsibilities.
She taught me to stay calm and battle on.
She taught me the value of effective communication.
She taught me how words have the power to lift as well as sting.
She taught me the wisdom in being silent but at the same time she taught me how to voice myself.
She taught me that learning and education goes beyond diplomas and degrees.
She taught me how to work hard towards achieving something you set your heart on.
She taught the importance of EQ, in a world that focused on IQ.
She taught me that hope and faith takes us a long way.
She taught me about individuality and how to respect differences.
She taught me how its okay to agree to disagree and yet co-exist amicably.
She taught me the difference between self respect and ego.
She taught me to always look into that grey area in this black and white world.
She taught me how balance is the key.
She taught me that beauty of the heart and mind is the true beauty.
She taught me how to be liberal in thoughts while staying grounded to traditions.
She taught me to never let success go to head and failure go to heart.
She taught me to understand the flaws in the world rather than be judgemental.
She taught me how to value commitments.
She taught me how every action has a consequence to bare and own up to.
She taught me about being flexible and adaptive, without losing myself.
She taught me the difference between being stubborn and perseverant.
She taught me to appreciate the goods and tolerate the not-so-goods in the world.
She taught me to see her as my strength, not weakness.
These are only some of lessons that come to my mind right now, in this very moment but there are many many more which I can go on and on and on about. And whatever life lessons she left out, my baby girl is making up for that! As a mum to a 6 year old myself, I am absolutely intrigued and extremely proud of my mum for not just doing the basic but going much beyond that, without complaining whatsoever. To think about it there are days when I complain, get tired and give up on doing just the basics for my little one… Phew!
If I can replicate even 10 % of what my mum did, with my own little girl, I would consider that a big win for me as a mum. Thanks Amma, for being there and for being you! You are the epitome of inspiration for me … at all times, good and not-so-good! Eternally grateful to have you as my mum who has played so many roles in my life and taught me so much, without even letting your troubles and struggles show. You have been my life coach in the real sense… Happy Women’s Day!
