Written by, Kalpita
6th Mar 2025
Research has consistently shown that Emotional Intelligence (EI), as a powerful skill-set, can go a long way in influencing your young children's future success and mental wellbeing. As parents, we have the privilege to lead our children in learning about these skills and develop EI as their hidden talent that they will latch onto throughout their lives.
Have a look at a simple tool that I like to call the ARMED approach. Get ready to challenge yourself as you sign up to know more about EI and get equipped for the head start your young children deserve and need.
The ARMED tool stands for the BIG FIVE of EI:
A is for: Awareness
R is for: Regulation
M is for: Motivation
E is for: Empathy
D is for: Demonstration
With an ARMED mindset at the forefront of your family life, your young children will be assured of a solid grounding in EI for life. In this blog, let’s take a sneak peak into the HOWs of using the ARMED approach:
1. Develop Awareness:
Self-awareness is defined as the state of being in contact with one's feelings and of knowing one's thoughts and values.
Here's how you can develop self-awareness in your young children:
• Emotion Door Knocks:
Regularly knock on your children’s’ emotion door to get a sneak peak into what they are feeling and explore the why.
• Emotion Vocabulary:
Teach your children the words that define all the feelings they feel.
• Feelings Chart:
Design this together, using pictures or emojis that help your children identify their feelings in the moment.
• Mindfulness:
Practice simple mindfulness activities with your children.
2. Self-regulate:
The ability to control your feelings, impulses, and actions is defined as self-regulation. Here's how you can enhance your children's self-regulation:
• Establish routines:
Daily life routine will give your children a sense of control.
• Model emotional control:
Show your children how you manage your own emotions when you are upset.
• Coping strategies:
Introduce fun, creative deep breathing techniques, like blowing bubbles or into balloons, stuffed animal breathing, candle and flower, five finger breathing, and so many others.
• Reinforce:
Celebrate the win with your children once they have come out of an emotional crisis. Make THAT a big deal!
3. Motivate Further:
This is the inner drive that kids with EI require. Here's how you help them develop the growth mindset and inner urge to do things:
• Nurture Curiosity:
Meet the interests and wishes of your children to learn about the surroundings. Get dirty if needed!
• Realistic goals:
Help your children recognise small realistic goals for themselves and make it interesting for them to achieve those goals.
• Set a good example:
Discuss with your children your own goals and how you pursue those goals. Talk aloud as you go along!
• Praise effort:
Emphasise process, not just product. Be a child again!
4. Practice Empathy:
Empathy is best described as the capability to understand and share the feelings of others.Here's how you can encourage the development of empathy in your children:
• Read and create stories:
Allow your children to experience books and narratives with different characters from all walks of life.
• Play perspective-taking games:
Encourage your children to think about others' feelings in the case that something happens.
• Volunteer together:
Take part in age-appropriate community service. Observe people, when outdoors or while watching shows, and discuss how they may be feeling and why.
5. Demonstrate EI:
The last part is actually modelling YOUR EI competencies as a parent. Here's how you can help your children demonstrate their emotional intelligence.
•Role-play social situations:
Practice EI behaviours by role-playing different social scenarios.
•Encourage problem-solving:
If there's a problem, work with your kids to find a solution, drawing on their EI skills in the process.
• Allow leadership opportunities:
Give them the chance to take responsibility in a given situation.
• Reflect on experiences:
Discuss with them after a social contact how things could have gone better and how good some things were.
REMEMBER: In effectively applying the ARMED approach:
Go Early:
Begin developing EI skills in your children as soon as they are old enough to babble and listen.
Go consistent:
Make the development of EI a natural part of your everyday life.
Go for fun:
Through playing games, telling stories, and activities that make your children get involved in EI learning.
Go patient:
The development of EI is a lifetime process. Small steps lead to BIG WINS!
Indeed, EI is that hidden talent that you should want to invest in for your children.
