Written by, Kalpita
10th Jan 2025
There has been a lot of conversations and stories about how Emotional Intelligence (EI) influences our social relationships, academic success, and overall well-being. I would like to break it all down for you as a parent, to think about and decide for yourself if its really that big a deal in raising young children.
So What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional Intelligence (EI) has been defined as the "ability to monitor and work with one's own and others' feelings.” But can young children really develop the ability to recognise, understand, manage, and effectively use emotions for themselves and others? I know of many successful adults still struggling with it all, as do you.
Typically, EI includes FIVE key components. Now, as parents raising young children, lets’ try to gain some perspective here, as we look at one component at a time:
#1 Self-awareness:
is about knowing and understanding one's own feelings and how it might be influencing our thoughts and behaviour. Let’s go back to that emotion you feel before giving a big presentation or taking a major test. How that feeling affects your delivery and preparation? Racing heart? Sweaty palms? Nervousness? How do you interpret this feeling? How do you expect your children to understand this feeling? Give it a think!
#2 Self-regulation:
is about controlling and managing one’s own emotions. Zoom into that frustrating feeling at work when you missed a deadline? What is usually your first reaction? Lash out? Blame? Make excuses? How would your children view these reactions from you? Is it something you want to pass on to them as a life skill? Give it a think!
#3 Motivation:
is about one’s personal drive for pursuing goals and their persistence through hardships. Remember those times when you set goals or make resolutions? Perhaps on a timeline? Do you stick to those? What if you get distracted or fail? What drives you to pursue personal growth? How do you persevere? Would your children understand this skill at all? Give it a think!
#4 Empathy:
is about understanding and sharing the feelings of others. Those times when your spouse looks upset. Do you take the time to check in by asking, “Are you feeling okay?” Do you listen or directly jump to giving solutions to their problems? And what if you cannot relate to their issues? Similarly, are your children capable of noticing your feelings as an individual? Give it a think!
#5 Social Skills:
is about the capability to form and maintain relationships, to speak effectively, and handle social situations. This skill is not a “party skill” per say. Believe it or not, you most use these skills, in a professional context. Yes, your job involves planning tasks, leading teams, communicating goals, hearing out perspectives, resolving conflicts diplomatically, collaborating on projects, and so on. How do you see your children navigating these complex social dynamics in their future professional setting? Give it a think!
Too much to process? Take a pause, deep breaths, reflect… Is EI a big deal? Would it help to start early with your young children? The only answer is….. YES, a resounding YES! As you might have realised, it all started early with you as well.
I want to take this opportunity to congratulate you! You have taken the first step…You said YES! And with that, I welcome you to Ed2Raise, where we will zoom in and out of the theoretical world of emotions and transform them into relatable, actionable insights. These insights will empower you to be the change you want to see in your future generations. Its GO time… its time for you to set up your young children for the success that came to you the hard way. Start by embracing every emotion and knowing that there are no right or wrong answers when it comes to emotions. In fact, there are no answers at all, only different perspectives and learning opportunities – some better suited for you and your family. Following Ed2Raise would prove to be the best choice you have ever made. So, stay tuned to know more about the whys and hows of the nuanced world of Emotional Intelligence!
